Failures are a part of life but needless to say as a parent, your childâ€™s failure can be a major area of concern. However, a parent is also responsible for guiding the child to the right path and helping them to overcome the situation which they have arrived at.
A guardian or parent must not blame the child or themselves for failures. Sometimes the child can be at a disadvantage due to lack of preparation or time or even because he or she was not in an ideal state of mental and physical health. But how is one supposed to deal with their childâ€™s failure?
Coping as Parents
It is important to understand that not just child but parent too will be shaken and disturbed if their child has done poorly and failed an exam. Children are most precious to their parents, and it is only logical to blame oneself for the failures or inability of their offspring to perform in a situation.
However, for achild to recover and improve, theparent must also undergo some amount of revival. Parents should follow the steps stated below:
This is the first and foremost step that you must take if you wish to help your child to become a better student. It is important to accept shortcoming and results of the person and stop playing the blame game.
One must also concentrate positive energy within them and radiate this positivity to the surroundings. If you hold on to the past, you can never move on to improve.
One must embrace the failure and not run from it. Sit with your child and discuss the situation, embracing the obvious. Get out of frustrations, question to know the cause and then become accustomed to the reality of this situation. If you at peace with this situation and circumstances, it will only help your child to move on.
Do not allow them to be embarrassed but help them to understand the consequence of continued failure and light the path from ignorance to education.
To get out of the failure, an individual must re-start. The past cannot be undone, but with concentrated and systematic efforts the past can be stopped being repeated. Thus you have to motor through life and begin afresh and allow yourself and your offspring a chance to start over and heal. Only this way can you truly help and bring about positive changes in the lives of the student in question.
Helping the child
Once you have undergone the process of acceptance, embraced the consequence and re-started the efforts not to repeat the past you must start helping your child. The child will obviously be embarrassed, angry or even become aloof and wish to stay separate from friends and family.
However, this is not a healthy way to handle the situation, and child must be open and frank to discuss the causes for which the failure to perform has occurred. To bring the child back on track some steps must be taken. They are stated below:
This is very important for the child to heal. Very few people truly know how parents play crucial role in childâ€™s life. If the parents are not showing love and acceptance to the individual, he or she can go into depression and never recover. It is imperative for the student to feel their parents still love and care for them.
There must be a systematic plan which needs to be created keeping in mind the restrictions of the child. Do not go overboard and make a plan that mentally exhausts his mind and ability to retain and learn. The planning should be realistic so that it can be achieved and followed. If the person has failed it is because of the following reasons:
There should be a thorough check up to narrow down on the real issues and work to eradicate them and help the person to do better.
The case can also be subjective, and the person in question may just have problems with some areas of the curriculum while being perfectly comfortable dealing with other areas. This only goes on to show that the problem can have several roots and as a loving and caring pair of mother and father, it is your duty to investigate and find the real problem. Once you do all you have to work on is the main area which is causing discomfort and once that is removed then the child will be in a position to perform better.
It is not wise to keep unrealistic expectations from your children. Research has shown that if the parents are too over-bearing or place unrealistic expectations on their children, then those individuals are failures and despite having an above average IQ they are unable to produce good results. Thus you must be cautious not to put unwanted pressure on child.
Also in thecase of failure tochildren, it is not ideal to scold, beat or harass them. This will only lead them to be more rebellious and to stop studying altogether. Instead be loving, caring and help them to improve.
At times the parents are working, and it is not possible to help out the child as much as is required. In these circumstances,a child requires special and reinforced professional help. This can be of two forms:
These tutors either come to your home or train the children personally, or you might have to go their teaching centers and acquire the information. However, these are mainstream sources of knowledge and training and may not suit the requirements of your child.
Online help can be a more personal and accommodative system where your child can study when they want to and also study the material and subject of their choice. These online professional sources of help are fast gaining popularity due to the fact that they are extremely student friendly and many have significantly been able to show improvement as a result of their association with such help.
Thus, it may be said that even though you cannot reverse the clock and stop your child from failing you can help them out now before it is too late by administering proper and systematic assistance and guidance.