One of the biggest challenges of communication many men and women feel in their day to day lives is being assertive instead of being aggressive. In many cases, it is a fine line and can make a world of difference for both the parties in a given situation. An assertive individual communicates his or her needs in an open and direct manner that is fair to himself/herself as well as the person being spoken to. Using the assertive communication style can also help an individual to be more relaxed, satisfied and inwardly fulfilled. This also helps a person to make other people feel relaxed in his or her presence.
However, many people find it difficult to be assertive and live in fear that their assertive behavior might be misinterpreted as arrogance, selfishness, or being unaccommodating and unhelpful. It is necessary to establish very clear boundaries from the start and communicate ideas and needs in a clear and respectful way. Doing so will in turn help to improve relationships with friends, colleagues, parents and romantic partners. You must also know how to handle criticism and take it in a positive way. Top 4 reasons to deal with criticismare essential for you to know.
Difference between being assertive and being passive
From the very beginning, one has to be very clear about the differences between assertiveness and passiveness. Assertiveness and arrogance is not the same thing, but quite often a passive person considers them to be the same. A person who is passive will very often allow other people to violate his or her own rights by agreeing to do or be part of things that they have no interest in doing. They are often overtly self-effacing, refusing to make decisions on his/her own and not communicating about his or her thoughts and feelings openly and honestly. On the other hand, an assertive individual is never afraid to speak up and say “no” to any request that might seem inappropriate to them. They are confident in expressing their feelings properly and can respond to others in a positive way.
1. The most important aspect of assertive people is that they do not allow others to violate their own rights under any circumstances. They also do not violate the feelings and rights of others to express their own viewpoints. Assertive people operate with a strong feeling of inner confidence.
2. Assertiveness helps in enhancing emotional honesty and the resulting directness helps in maintaining healthy interpersonal relationships. On the other hand, people who do not stand up for themselves or find it difficult to be decisive often find their relationships to be less satisfying. Generally, the non-assertive individuals experience a lower level of emotional security and well being.
Distinct elements of assertive behavior
Assertive behavior is not only about what a person says but also about how they say it. It does not mean belittling or hurting another person but expressing one’s own rights to have personal thoughts, feelings, needs and opinions. Here are some examples of assertive behavior.
1. Expressing all your thoughts and feelings clearly;
2. Communicating directly and honestly with everyone;
3. Letting others know what you want and need in a manner that is non-threatening;
4. Avoiding swearing, name-calling, or any other kind of inappropriate expressions;
5. Recognizing the needs and rights of others while communicating;
6. Making use of cooperative statements and recognizing others’ opinions
Assertiveness as a practiced skill
Although there are many men and women who are naturally more confident than others while speaking, communicating assertively is a skill that is often learnt and sharpened over time. It takes a lot of practice and conscious effort for a person to develop communication skills that are assertive. This is true for both men and women who often find it difficult to express themselves properly due to years of parental, social and cultural conditioning.
The importance of acknowledging personal rights
While many people feel that they really do not have the choice to say “no” in a situation where they are not feeling right to go ahead with something, it is important for them to understand that everyone has rights and that it is unfair to treat someone in a way that makes him or her feel worthless. As a person, whether you are a man or a woman, you have the personal right to express your thoughts, feelings and needs. Acknowledging your rights is the first step for you to become assertive.
Ways in which you can make changes in your life
If you are someone who feels regularly pressurized to say yes to things that you have no inclination to agreeing, then you must be feeling helpless, powerless and depressed in your life in different situations. Whether this happens to you in your interaction with your friends, your parents, your spouse or your office colleagues or superiors, you should practice assertiveness in your communication with them. Passivity is not going to help you at the end of the day; it is not only making you feels overlooked and unappreciated but it is also forcing you to be dishonest with others.
You should start by keeping a journal that lets you record your behavior at different times. In this way you can monitor yourself and see at which times you feel coerced, intimidated, pressured, passive and timid. It will help you to determine what the obstacles of assertiveness that you are facing are and how you can steadily become more confident.
Benefits of assertiveness
Assertiveness is a skill that we all should develop as it can improve our personal and professional lives. It is not uncommon for a passive individual to face serious issues in his or her personal relationships as well as professional lives. Men and women who find it difficult to speak their minds are often at a difficult position than others and they feel that the burden of the world is over them. By consciously practicing assertiveness, it is possible for a person to live a life that is easy and uncomplicated.
It is for this reason that both men and women should do everything that it takes to become assertive and confident. Want to know more about the intricacies or you cannot complete the paper on this subject and desperately looking for high-quality Psychology Assignment Help services? You can cast aside all your worries by hiring us for your assignment.We are helping out students for long now with quality services at affordable rates!