Even though you might tend to neglect it, but a childâ€™s life is complex in its own terms. The complex life of your child means that parenting is very much difficult but very important. Any child needs a certain amount of freedom in his/her life. It is said that, just like anything else, there is a specific boundary to the amount of freedom your kid should get.
You should always maintain a boundary
Even though people generally talk about the need for boundaries, but what does that term mean actually? For parents, a boundary can be thought of a line where they end, and their child begins. Setting the healthy boundaries for your child is easier said than done. Beyond that specific boundary, any parent shouldnâ€™t get involved in their kidâ€™s life.
To be honest, every kid pushes the boundaries on a regular basis, making the job even more difficult. Itâ€™s in their nature to test their parents and push boundaries. However, it is not just the kids who push boundaries.
Sometimes, even parents tend to cross boundaries themselves, mostly in an attempt to fix things for their children. Your primary job as a parent should be to stay loving and provide them with the necessary freedom. To do that, you should always stay in your role as a parent, defining your principles and sticking to the bottom lines.
Permissive and Authoritative Parents
It is impossible to categorize parents depending on how they dealt with their children. However, if any such categories did exist, most parents would belong to two major categories: Permissive and Authoritative.
Most parents who belong to the category of permissive are the ones who generally hate to set limits. They see boundaries or limits as an additional burden on children.
So, to avoid causing their child more grief, they refrain from getting too involved in their childâ€™s life. This can be a good thing as long as children donâ€™t start misusing the freedom given by their permissive parents
Others belong to the category of those parents who donâ€™t have any problem in setting limits and even take pride in the obedience of their children. These are the parents who are always involved in their childrenâ€™s academic and personal life. In the early years, children tend to be very good academically, but as they grow up, they start having behavioral difficulties and anger problems.
So, the bottom line is that staying too involved in your childâ€™s life can be as harmful as providing them with too much freedom. This is why, you as a parent, should tread carefully when it comes to taking care of your child. Always remember, your involvement plays a significant role in the development of your child.
Striking the balance
The trick to successful parenting lies in striking a balance between getting involved in childrenâ€™s life and giving them some space. This is the exact middle ground which works most of the times. There is no denying that kids need an appropriate limit, but itâ€™s how you enforce those limits that actually count.
For instance, you and your child may have conflicting opinions on private tuitions and group studies. While group study is a more interactive way of studying, private tuition is always considered to be good for academics. You can check â€œPrivate tuition or group study: Which one to supportâ€ to know more to understand in a better way.
To develop properly as a student, a child needs to have a personal space to explore themselves. At the same time, children require parental guidance, which requires the parents to be involved. The key lies in striking a perfect balance between both.
Tips on dealing with your child
The main challenge for any parent is to remain actively involved in their childâ€™s life and at the same time encourage them to make more decisions on their own. That is never easy for any parent. Here are some suggestions you might find useful:
- Children need privacy and space; you need to make sure that you provide them with that. Your child may retreat to his/her room to talk on the phone, be with friends, and listen to music or just to be alone for that matter. You must respect their need for privacy and also their private space. Unless your concerns are too serious, you should avoid activities like eavesdropping, read your childâ€™s diary, etc.
- Involve your children in decisions that affect their schedule and free time. The best way to cut down on conflicts at home is by acknowledging the growing need of your child for independence. A great of doing that is by discussing their schedule with them. This way, you can get an idea of the amount of free time your child actually requires.
- Be interactive and encourage your child to do the same. When you interact with your children, you get a better idea of their needs and requirements. This way, you can determine exactly how much you need to be involved to make sure they get what they require
- Have a limited involvement in your childrenâ€™s academics. For a student, their parentâ€™s involvement in academics is almost as important as their teacherâ€™s involvement. Try to know about your childâ€™s current academic status. If your child requires homework help, you can try online professional help. Having said that, your involvement should always be limited. Your child shouldnâ€™t get too dependent on you for their academics.
- Adjust the boundaries and limits as your child grows and changes. You need to understand that needs of your child as they grow up. As they become mature, they would need some extra space. As a responsible parent, you need to understand that. Make sure you provide freedom when necessary and also enforce strictness when necessary.
Getting involved in fun activities
Apart from academics, a parentâ€™s involvement must also be there in other parts of their life as well. If you want to limit your involvement in academics, online homework help is present. This way, you donâ€™t directly get involved in your childâ€™s academics, but you make sure that they get the necessary professional help when necessary.
For a childâ€™s development, co-curricular and fun activities are as important as academics. You must make sure that you are involved in these activities as well.
Play with your kids, watch movies with them and take them out to enjoy. This not only keeps your childâ€™s mind refreshed, it also builds a trusting relation between both of you. If a child shares such kind of bond with their parent, they tend to turn to their parents for advice and support.