Raising a child is never easy. There is no syllabus, but there are a lot of do’s and don’t’s. It’s like somebody pushed you in the pool, and you have to learn swimming. When your little bundle of joy came to this world, nothing else was happier at that moment, but thinking of raising a child scares the life out of you.
All you ever wanted is your child to be polite and well mannered who is doing well in the class and yes! She is coming out with flying colours. You are as happy as a parent to have raised a well-behaved kid exactly how you wanted.
But aren’t you secretly scared? While you see other rebellious kids, doesn’t it anxious for one moment for your extra-polite and obedient child?
This is what we are going to discuss with you. There are few parents keep on saying that their polite and over conscious child makes them worried. They think something might be wrong with her. Maybe she is holding something back and hiding things from them.
Toddlerhood is a time when your child is going to bite your head off all the time. They question you all the time about every new thing they see, and if you can’t answer, may God help you! They will keep on asking questions and irritate the life out of you.
Their vocabulary is always filled with why and how’s. But isn’t it obvious? Children are supposed to break the rules, question things, and they are not at all afraid to stand out. This is the most obvious way a child should grow up.
They will not complete their homework, and you have to think thousand new ideas to make them study for at least one hour. This is the exact scenario which I have to face every day. But somehow this always gives a little relief thinking that my child is behaving like I behaved in my childhood.
Over polite children are not expected at all. I don’t want to have obedient children. What will be my job then if they complete all their homework on their own?
Apart from the jokes, obedient children maybe grow up as obedient adults also. But does it sound right to you? Well, it’s not. If your child does not have the freedom of thoughts and action, how can she be free of any fear and passionate about anything they love? They might grow up as an average adult. And that’s not something you want to her future right?
If your child is completing all her homework and studies on time, that might be satisfying, but I think sometimes you do need to worry about her and you also need to check your parenting attitude too.
One of my cousins was the most polite and obedient kid I have ever seen in my whole time. Her parents never got a letter from the school for her misbehaviour; they never had any trouble raising her. And I was so jealous of her! Years later I understood, as a child of alcoholic parents, she has always seen her most favourite people fight always, and she grew a tendency of pleasing them no matter what.
She was never rebellious. And if you take my experience to consider, obedient kids make mediocre adults mostly. They lack the quest for life; they always want to fit in the picture and just be easygoing, so that no one ever complains about them. If you want your kids to make everything of their potential, you need to check your attitude as a parent too.
There are few things which you can try out if you are worrying about your kid being too polite –
- Don’t be authoritative
Don’t be too hard on them. Some parents become too rigid when it comes to food of hygiene. Do not make them do something they don’t like, rather make new playful way to make them accept your way.
- Encourage their hobbies
I am sure there is something your child loves to do. Encourage doing them. Maybe you can try out doing the job with them, even if they are good at it. Be an active part of their life.
- Encourage mistakes sometimes
Make them believe that mistakes are natural. If they are learning a new thing, it’s natural to make some mistakes. And make sure they are not scared of you, and they can discuss their mistakes with you.
- Be their friend
This seems impossible most of the times. Children are not going to accept you as a friend, but if you are, they will never have the constant keenness to please you. They can share things happened outside the house, and you will get a track of their lives too.
- Encourage risk taking
Don’t make them always stay within the boundaries. They need to jump too high to realise that’s not safe. Some things are there which are better left untaught by the parents. Let them learn practical things on their own.
Parenting is the most difficult job, and honestly, you never retire. You can’t stop worrying about your child no matter how mature she comes. But if you are too much hard on your child, maybe unknowingly, they will grow some habits or perhaps they might lack confidence too. So worry if they are too easy to handle, worry if they don’t as enough questions. Be a sensible parent! Your children are going to love you!